Think of your relationship with your horse like dancing with a partner. Whether you’re riding, walking together, or doing groundwork, clarity and balance are key. If you are both pulling, the movement becomes tense and awkward. But when you’re in sync, everything flows.
Mixed Signals Lead to Confusion
Let’s break it down. If you’re riding and asking your horse to move forward with your legs but holding tension in the reins, you’re essentially saying “go” and “stop” at the same time. Similarly, if you’re walking your horse and pulling slightly on the lead rope while expecting them to move forward, they’re left guessing what you really want. In groundwork, using energy to send them out while blocking their movement with your body creates the same kind of confusion.
These mixed signals can lead to frustration and tension—for both of you. Horses thrive on clear communication, where every cue has a purpose and aligns with what we’re asking.
Finding Balance
The key is to focus on clarity and balance in all interactions:
- When Asking for Movement: Make sure your cues—whether through your energy, body language, or aids—are all saying the same thing. If you’re asking your horse to go forward, release any unnecessary pressure that might contradict that request.
- When Asking for Stillness: Create an environment where your horse feels safe and invited to pause. This means relaxing your energy, softening your body, and giving them space to settle.
So, how can you bring clarity and calm into your next moment with your horse?
The Role of Energy
Beyond the physical, your emotional state plays a huge role in your horse’s responses. Horses naturally mirror the energy of those around them. If you’re tense, nervous, or unfocused, your horse will pick up on that and reflect it back.
Before engaging with your horse, take a moment to check in with yourself. Are you carrying fear or frustration? Is your energy calm and centered? A deep breath or two can make a world of difference, setting the tone for a more connected experience.
It’s Not Just Riding
This balance applies to every interaction you have with your horse—not just in the saddle. Walking side by side, working on groundwork, or simply standing together in the field are all opportunities to practice clear communication and grounded energy.
When you focus on asking and allowing in a way that makes sense to your horse, you’ll start to notice a change. The tension eases, the confusion fades, and the connection between you grows stronger.
So, the next time you’re with your horse, ask yourself:
- Are my cues clear and consistent?
- Am I bringing calm, grounded energy into this moment?
- Am I allowing my horse the space to respond without conflicting signals?
By finding flow in your relationship, you’ll discover that every moment becomes an opportunity to dance in harmony with your horse—whether you’re walking, riding, or simply being together.
Take Care

The Northern Grey Mare
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